Not everything has to be fixed by me. Jesus can actually use someone else and put me on the shelf for a rest, or deploy me somewhere else, doing something else. I am dispensable and also relocatable. I can leave the very big problem in His care and He will look after it. Because He is loving enough, big enough, strong enough, wise enough and perfect and masterful. I can actually not worry about it. Actually.
Forgiveness
Ongoing and hard and costly and easier and more grace touched with Jesus’ help and enabling. Letting go of the right to be heard by the one you want to hear you. It’s the pathway to joy and peace, through tears and the tearing.
Checking out
It’s clear.. I need a break from opinions, media, my own rushing thoughts, insecurities, the have too’s and should do’s. It’s clear. I’ve stopped the push notifications on my devices, put the vacation notification on my email account. Trying to silence the many voices that end up setting priorities and ruling the time you’ve given me Jesus. Still, the greatest challenge to checking out remains me. To settle down with you and isolate myself with you so that I can finally and fully hear your voice. Be patient with me. You have so much competition and it will take me some time to wean myself from their demanding compelling influence.
Grateful
Grateful today for Emmanuel and all that He does in my life. For peace and joy (in the midst of) and family and a lovely spot to dwell in and His word that anchors this scattered heart of mine and soul restoring power of music
Oh my…it’s been a while
“When you really see Jesus, I defy you to doubt Him. If you see Him when He says, “Let not your heart be troubled…” (John 14:27), I defy you to worry. It is virtually impossible to doubt when He is there. Every time you are in personal contact with Jesus, His words are real to you. “My peace I give to you…” (John 14:27)— a peace which brings an unconstrained confidence and covers you completely, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. “…your life is hidden with Christ in God,” and the peace of Jesus Christ that cannot be disturbed has been imparted to you.” Oswald
This is the challenge – to really see Jesus, in the midst of life, our distracted culture, to really see Him, to sit with Him long enough to be wrapped in peace. Doing that today.
every day
“I will never . . . forsake you.” Sometimes it is not the difficulty of life but the drudgery of it that makes me think God will forsake me. When there is no major difficulty to overcome, no vision from God, nothing wonderful or beautiful— just the everyday activities of life— do I hear God’s assurance even in these?” Oswald
So there. so there in the daily-ness of life –
Refreshing
Refreshing to spend time with my favorite person and a cinnamon bun and coffee at the Black Diamond Bakery and talking and writing and sitting in the quiet and going to an art show and taking in the beauty and visiting and eating and laughing with family over dinner and taking time. Not rushing.
Still
What makes a day meaningful, significant, important even?. These days it’s quieter and less splashy and public than I am used to and sadly (my shallowness is showing here) harder to get that sense that “I am doing important things for the kingdom! God is relentlessly paring down my life, separating me out of the fray, putting to rest my ambition. Be still and know that I am God. Okay okay uncle uncle.
Enough
Woke up this morning rested. Weird. Wonderful. I’ve been working (wrong verb here) at resting:) Giving all my time over to the One who knows best how I should spend the time He gives me. Listening to His voice that has been persistent in it’s message – do less, do less do less. Rushing isn’t part of My plan. (Jesus always walked, never late). Grateful for this cool – anti-cultural journey He has me on. I don’t actually have more to do than Jesus did (does) (will do). And I’m not busy. Take that culture!
Colleen R. Jantzen 