Finished a one year Bible reading plan that I started last March today – thankful for it – kept me on track through recovering from the June flood and the depression and ptsd and overwhelming fatigue that accompanied that event – things that I never imagined I would ever deal with (presumptuous I know!) – the Word of God is eternal (and don’t take that small word lightly), sustaining, perspective giving, restful and reading it in my beloved and familiar NIV was comforting….my feet are more or less under me now (thank you Jesus) so I am going to branch out into the Message – and listen to the Words of God in my language – looking forward to this (but I’ll know I’ll still be spending daily time in the NIV – because….it’s my bread). I love quiet mornings before the world (my world anyway) wakes up (except of course for the dogs who hear my feet as soon as they hit the floor). Thankfully – once they’re let out and fed – they settle right down and are content to just keep me comfortable company. God is good – greatly to be praised.
For they loved praise from men more than praise from God
Trickiest trap for a worship leader. “That was a really great Sunday……I love it when you lead…..boy you all sounded good today.” Tricky trap.
For Him
I love dreaming about and putting together music and imagining the church lifting their hearts and souls and hands and minds to the One who holds eternity in His hands. Because You are worthy – of all of that and more and because we are healthiest, happiest, most perfectly human, when we connect with the Divine in that way.
Started
Started cleaning up the yard yesterday – moving the snow around (melt melt melt) – getting ready for new things, dreaming of a herb garden and marigolds and garden carrots and cosmos and painted daisy’s. Come spring come. We are waiting for you.
Read Psalm 136 this morning, where that beautiful strength-filled eternal phrase is repeated and repeated and repeated. His love endures forever. All things are destined for dust, even the mountains to the west of me, unmovable and unshakable in their grandeur. Only His love endures forever. Camp on that, live in that, rest in that.
Till He asks me not too
Worship leader — that’s my current role in the Body — so — not a musician, not a performer, and way behind a long list of many who are better, more talented…..don’t always get why God asked me to do this (though I won’t lie…..I LOVE it)…..but content – to serve here and content in the knowledge that while I KNOW there are scores who are better, more talented, better suited (from a human point of view certainly)….I am doing what God asked and will keep on keeping on….till He asks me not too. At peace.
Dependence
All that is required is to live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ. Oswald Chambers
Today The only absolute thing Is To Stay behind (not out front) To watch To listen To follow
Starting over
It’s what I love about everyday – that it is a starting over, a new beginning. His mercies ARE new every morning. Today I am going to start over on some things, leaving off judging others for one, drinking enough water, getting the house clean, preparing for Sunday, being patient and bearing with the ‘other’s in my life. Being intimately conscious of the Lord’s persistent presence in my life and responding, that sounds like the best starting over spot.
Suspended
Being home sick 
is like being suspended in the land of in-between – the rest of the world can and does carry on without you – and that’s okay – for a little while! So nap, read, drink and recuperate. It will all be there tomorrow. Rest. Be bored. It IS okay – for a little while:)
Making music with friends is the best possible way to spend an evening. Fun, refreshing, laugh out loud bad and good. How lovely to know people who let you play along, even if it is just an open D. How did I get so blessed? How?
Colleen R. Jantzen 