Spun out

I never imagined

(in my wildest imaginings)

Imagined I

I would be one

One of those

Spun out of the church
(the family of God for crying out loud how does this happen 
it's wrong on at least a thousand levels hyperbole intended)


Well

Not THE church

(actually)

A church

I’m at a loss Poppa
I don’t recognize myself
I’m wearing clothes that don’t fit

(because)

I loved her so

Still do


(but)

She didn’t love me back

(not really)

Because

There wasn’t room for me

(the me they imagined was welcome)

But

Not the me that actually was/is

(he/them/they lower case intended made sure of that)

Poppa hold me
Hold me close
I’m just so very sad

(also)

Thank you for new spaces
New faces
Who look on poor wretched me 

With love

Love 
that 
feels like 
sounds like 
smells like
looks like 
tastes like

You
You
You

(and so and still)

I cry out to You 

Heal this broken soul 

Make me whole

Help me trust

Again