On the edge
Illegitimate
(according to some)
in both sides of the
Separate/similar tribes
Trying to
say/think/do/feel
the
right
things
(according to whom)
That I might move
Ever so slightly
Closer
To the
Inside
Of you all
Outside
Old Momma’s Lament
I miss the days
When the problems were small
And I felt capable
Of solving them all
Wreak
wreak verb \ ˈrēk also ˈrek \ wreaked; wreaking; wreaks Definition of wreak transitive verb 1: BRING ABOUT, CAUSE wreak havoc You didn't mean it Couldn’t have Wouldn’t Yet I’m wrecked By your wreaking Heal me Poppa Heal me Heal me Heal me Me I am too small under its weight
Guns
Da guns dey gotta go Dey gotta go Dey gotta go Cause Children s'posed to live S'posed to live S'posed to live Da guns dey gotta go Dey gotta go Dey gotta go Cause Going off to school To get shot To get shot Is wrong On every level Da guns dey gotta go Dey gotta go Dey gotta go And No amount of words and No amount of freedom Make 'em right Make 'em right Da guns dey gotta go Dey gotta go Dey gotta go Hunh
How
How did Koinonia Come to mean Women in fur coats And I/we Don’t belong Really (and never will) How did I preach the Word of God Come to mean Misogyny and and and Help me Poppa In all the undoing You are doing In me/us To keep You The reality Of You Heal Your church Poppa Heal me/us Help me/us to find Your good way The Way How
Too
You're not enough You’re too much You’re too young You’re too old You're too sexy You're too plain You know too much You know too little You’ve got two x’s You should have one y You don’t fit in You’ll never fit in Unless we say you do (and we won’t can't don't) Jesus Jesus Jesus Help me crawl into our Poppa’s lap I need to hear Him say again You’re my child Too And I made you Just so My child My child My child
Spun out
I never imagined (in my wildest imaginings) Imagined I I would be one One of those Spun out of the church (the family of God for crying out loud how does this happen it's wrong on at least a thousand levels hyperbole intended) Well Not THE church (actually) A church I’m at a loss Poppa I don’t recognize myself I’m wearing clothes that don’t fit (because) I loved her so Still do (but) She didn’t love me back (not really) Because There wasn’t room for me (the me they imagined was welcome) But Not the me that actually was/is (he/them/they lower case intended made sure of that) Poppa hold me Hold me close I’m just so very sad (also) Thank you for new spaces New faces Who look on poor wretched me With love Love that feels like sounds like smells like looks like tastes like You You You (and so and still) I cry out to You Heal this broken soul Make me whole Help me trust Again
The Main Thing
Beloved Keep the Main Thing The Main Thing (and) I AM The Main Thing
Ghosted
How low can you go Ummm Well How about getting ghosted by a Professional God Gospeler Woah Ummm Well That is pretty low As low things go Even so Beloved Let it go Let it go Let it go
Could Would Should
When the things that could be Can’t When the things that would be Won’t When the things that should be Shan’t I press into You I press into You My Rock Redeemer Lover Friend
Colleen R. Jantzen 