I Miss

I miss your smile
I miss your smell
I miss the way you set your jaw when you’re thinking hard 
(or mad)

I miss your laugh
I miss your joy
I miss your hair (the way you flick it when you’re feeling sassy and strong)

I miss your faith
I miss your friendship
I miss the way you say my name when you’re annoyed with me (or pleased)

I miss being told what to do

I miss

The essential essence of

(irreplaceable incomparable)  

You

I

Miss

You

Your Body

 “that all of them may be one”
John 17: part of verse 21 (NIV)

I don’t recognize you anymore

I’m out of place
Out of joint 
With you

When did the ground shift under my feet 

And create this angry defiant individualistic I’ll do what I want space that 
I don’t recognize
(or fit)
In?

When did ‘what you want’ 
Become more important than
What 
They 
Need? 

(consideration, kindness, space, a place)

Did it happen so slowly
So imperceptible (to my rose-coloured view)
That I couldn’t discern it?

Did I live in false hope that

It 
Wasn’t
Happening?

Was it always there?

I don’t recognize you

Anymore

Now 
I
Wait 
In 
Silence
And
Grief
And
Lament 
And 
Hope

That you will be restored

(getting back to normal won’t do it folks) 

And

I will be able to fully

Embrace you

Again

The Wound

 “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.
Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. 
My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”
James 3: 9-10 (NIV)

How did I end up in this surgical suite? 
When I never signed consent?

Your unintentional cut 
wounds 
and I bleed
Sorrow 
And 
Neglect

Unnoticed


Seeing Sisters

Seeing sisters
Doing what sisters do
With the  easy intimacy of knowing and being known
I avert my eyes
To guard my heart
From the pain 
Of missing 
You

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