It’s clear.. I need a break from opinions, media, my own rushing thoughts, insecurities, the have too’s and should do’s. It’s clear. I’ve stopped the push notifications on my devices, put the vacation notification on my email account. Trying to silence the many voices that end up setting priorities and ruling the time you’ve given me Jesus. Still, the greatest challenge to checking out remains me. To settle down with you and isolate myself with you so that I can finally and fully hear your voice. Be patient with me. You have so much competition and it will take me some time to wean myself from their demanding compelling influence.
Grateful
Grateful today for Emmanuel and all that He does in my life. For peace and joy (in the midst of) and family and a lovely spot to dwell in and His word that anchors this scattered heart of mine and soul restoring power of music
every day
“I will never . . . forsake you.” Sometimes it is not the difficulty of life but the drudgery of it that makes me think God will forsake me. When there is no major difficulty to overcome, no vision from God, nothing wonderful or beautiful— just the everyday activities of life— do I hear God’s assurance even in these?” Oswald
So there. so there in the daily-ness of life –
Refreshing
Refreshing to spend time with my favorite person and a cinnamon bun and coffee at the Black Diamond Bakery and talking and writing and sitting in the quiet and going to an art show and taking in the beauty and visiting and eating and laughing with family over dinner and taking time. Not rushing.
Still
What makes a day meaningful, significant, important even?. These days it’s quieter and less splashy and public than I am used to and sadly (my shallowness is showing here) harder to get that sense that “I am doing important things for the kingdom! God is relentlessly paring down my life, separating me out of the fray, putting to rest my ambition. Be still and know that I am God. Okay okay uncle uncle.
Enough
Woke up this morning rested. Weird. Wonderful. I’ve been working (wrong verb here) at resting:) Giving all my time over to the One who knows best how I should spend the time He gives me. Listening to His voice that has been persistent in it’s message – do less, do less do less. Rushing isn’t part of My plan. (Jesus always walked, never late). Grateful for this cool – anti-cultural journey He has me on. I don’t actually have more to do than Jesus did (does) (will do). And I’m not busy. Take that culture!
Random
Finished a one year Bible reading plan that I started last March today – thankful for it – kept me on track through recovering from the June flood and the depression and ptsd and overwhelming fatigue that accompanied that event – things that I never imagined I would ever deal with (presumptuous I know!) – the Word of God is eternal (and don’t take that small word lightly), sustaining, perspective giving, restful and reading it in my beloved and familiar NIV was comforting….my feet are more or less under me now (thank you Jesus) so I am going to branch out into the Message – and listen to the Words of God in my language – looking forward to this (but I’ll know I’ll still be spending daily time in the NIV – because….it’s my bread). I love quiet mornings before the world (my world anyway) wakes up (except of course for the dogs who hear my feet as soon as they hit the floor). Thankfully – once they’re let out and fed – they settle right down and are content to just keep me comfortable company. God is good – greatly to be praised.
For they loved praise from men more than praise from God
Trickiest trap for a worship leader. “That was a really great Sunday……I love it when you lead…..boy you all sounded good today.” Tricky trap.
For Him
I love dreaming about and putting together music and imagining the church lifting their hearts and souls and hands and minds to the One who holds eternity in His hands. Because You are worthy – of all of that and more and because we are healthiest, happiest, most perfectly human, when we connect with the Divine in that way.
Colleen R. Jantzen 