Category: Grief

The Space

I wish I could
Fill up the space
You left behind

If I could be you
When only you will do

But
 
There’s no way
To fill up the space
You left behind

Jill
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Offence

“Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. 
The Lord will repay him for what he has done.” 
2 Timothy 4:14 (NIV)

You 
who
See all
Know all
Understand all

Keep track

I gratefully release 
All offences to you

My ragged temper 
and
Intemperate grace
Are unequal to the task.
0

Check myself

I checked myself
(in Lethbridge the other day)

Because I saw (not) you

(but)

your Race
your Affect

(and)

I felt

Fear
(and)
Judgement

(and so)

I 
Had 
To

Check myself

And shout silently
To you
To You Poppa
To you my soul

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

I didn't 
See

You
1

He Sees

When places of sanctuary 
Become spaces of suffering
I run to You

My 

Kinsmen
Brother
Friend
Redeemer
Hope 
Joy

The One who 
Sees

Me
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Human Beings

Human beings
People we love(d) trust(ed)
Never stop 
Giving us
Reasons to
 Practice

Forgiveness

Grace
Strength
Grace 
Strength
Grace

We 

Need 

You 

Now
0

Your Body

 “that all of them may be one”
John 17: part of verse 21 (NIV)

I don’t recognize you anymore

I’m out of place
Out of joint 
With you

When did the ground shift under my feet 

And create this angry defiant individualistic I’ll do what I want space that 
I don’t recognize
(or fit)
In?

When did ‘what you want’ 
Become more important than
What 
They 
Need? 

(consideration, kindness, space, a place)

Did it happen so slowly
So imperceptible (to my rose-coloured view)
That I couldn’t discern it?

Did I live in false hope that

It 
Wasn’t
Happening?

Was it always there?

I don’t recognize you

Anymore

Now 
I
Wait 
In 
Silence
And
Grief
And
Lament 
And 
Hope

That you will be restored

(getting back to normal won’t do it folks) 

And

I will be able to fully

Embrace you

Again
1

Truth

“Then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free”
John 8:32 (NIV) 

You knew this
(not at first but you got it eventually)
You got it
(while she waited)
That

Light is better than dark
Truth is better than lies

And then

You forgot

And that
Blew everything
Up

RJS
0

Seeing Sisters

Seeing sisters
Doing what sisters do
With the  easy intimacy of knowing and being known
I avert my eyes
To guard my heart
From the pain 
Of missing 
You
0

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